What is the “reason”?
For Self: Looking for the reason why, in yourself, is an easy way to self blame. How many hours/days have you looked and asked and soul searched for that answer only to turn your frustration inwards when nothing makes sense.
For Others: It is an excuse to shift a perceived responsibility you feel. It can also be a form of bullying, victim blaming.
Why am I so focused on solutions?
For Self: It is a way to pretend you are “doing something” about your problems. This constant search increases your anxiety and uses up your precious energy. It steals your life.
For Others: You and I are human. We have empathy and feel the distress of our loved ones. You want that discomfort to go away and can unconsciously blame the other person for making you feel like that.
How is there a cycle of distress, anxiety, self soothing and self loathing?
We are uncomfortable, we want to feel safe. There is a perception that anxiety is the enemy so we do whatever we can to suppress it. We need to rationalise everything! We are blamed when we are struggling with life and there is a fear we will be rejected if our struggle becomes a perceived problem for those around us. Lots of different circumstances bring us to the point of “Aboutism”
Where can I help myself?
Feeling anxious? Name the emotion, accept the emotion, feel the emotion. Do not attach a story or memory, just let it be an emotion. It will pass. This requires practice, patience and self awareness. You also receive the benefit of actually getting to know and truly like yourself.
Find the support that supports you during this process. Someone who just listens. If YOU don’t have an immediate insight then the timing is out, there is more to experience.
Seeking a psychic will give you your karmic contract and the energy around the situation as well as outcomes. In my experience, both personally and professionally, it very rarely ends the issue. Psychic readings are supporting the process, it does not take it away or allow you to control the out of control.
The healing and coaching I do provides the stillness you require to soothe the psyche during your personal growth process.
Sometimes, with readings and healings, there is spontaneous healing, sometimes it takes the time it takes. It is all part of your Karma, the contract you came here to fulfil.
From My Heart...
Doing healing and psychic work I always felt an obligation to provide all the answers and if I couldn’t then I was not worthy. Using broad statements like “Aboutism” is counterproductive to true healing. Life always provides the backdrop and the Soul knows the way. When you come to see me I am your support. Your answers and way always lie within. I hold you in the stillness of your Soul while you access your Wisdom. You always hold the ultimate Power of your journey. My privilege is to be in that space while you do.
You set yourself up to fail, you reset the goalposts when you are close to making things easier, you pull out an obscure memory to rationalise a decision, reaction or choice. You can use this big stick you punish yourself because you could not predict the outcome and use retrospect to shame yourself for not seeing it coming.
There is no glory in punishing yourself today for decisions you made in the past. The set of circumstances that existed in a past decision or situation do not exist and can never be replicated. If you grew up with shame or are susceptible to self criticism then you could be unconsciously using the past to stay in your comfort zone. The minute you become aware of the difference, even if you're not aware of the trigger, your comfort zone becomes your uncomfort zone and nothing will feel balanced until the bias is addressed. This video series explains the process in a fun and simple way that takes the power away from your critical self and gives it back to your creative self.