Self doubt has a sneaky way of stealing your dreams
So why do I feel anxious?…
Anxiety is an emotion that lets you know things are changing or not quite right, for you . If you are not sure why you are anxious, I can assure you it is not helpful to chase it down. Everybody is different, and looking for “why” distracts from the “how” which in turn keeps you in fear based thinking. Anxiety is skipping a few steps in your thought processes and landing in the place where you have no personal power before you realise you have no personal power. In other words, you are sitting in thought number 5 when you haven’t dealt with thought number 1.
What to look out for…
Be aware of and name your feelings…
Your ability to know what you are feeling at any time will help you manage any runaway thoughts and misdirection. It is very easy to be afraid of feelings, they are uncomfortable or can feel like you will lose control. Naming the feeling gives you distance. Once you take a step back from yourself you can look objectively at the emotion. It is in this moment you can catch your breath and realise there is no immediate danger.
Don’t give your emotions a story…
Once you can identify the feeling, you are still feeling it. The discomfort does not dissipate immediately. In order to self soothe there is a desire to assign a story to that feeling, invoke a memory about the last time you felt like this. You think that if you solve the past memory the feeling will disappear. This will not happen, in fact it can severely slow the healing process. If you can, catch yourself before you dive in too far. This emotion is not this particular story, or any past story. It is just an emotion.
The past is the past…
The past may be remembered but it is over. The unique set of circumstances around your story no longer exist. Acknowledge the current emotion, let it sit with you without context and I guarantee it will pass with no residual feelings. You can even dredge up that old story and it will no longer pull you back in. It is not easy, it takes practice and it is worth every effort you are prepared to give it. Once you peel back the redundant emotional layers you have plastered over your stories you will uncover the masterpiece that is the true you. Your true self. That is an amazing discovery. You might even begin to like yourself.
What is spirituality?…
Spirituality is different for everybody. My belief is that when I am living my personal truth, being honest with myself and my intentions, adjusting where necessary to align with my Soul Purpose then I am being spiritual. Who I am as a person is defined by my reactions to my everyday life. I use my experiences to understand myself better. I objectively look at my responses and check in to see if they still align with my current beliefs and values. It’s very nuanced and the best way I know to get to know the real me. What does spirituality mean to you?
One other very important thing… no judging myself at all, ever!
Just one more thing…bloody empathy…
Check in with your feelings. Is this really about you? Are you being affected by someone else’s emotional state? You can not really take on someones else’s stuff however you can be emotionally triggered by their reactions. Use these methods to help you distance yourself from other people and their drama. Again, this takes a lot of practice but worth the effort.
My final word on anxiety…
In the time that I have worked with people I have been made aware of how their energy reaches out to the physical world and latches onto anything that gives them some meaning. I see the energy like cords or stretchy things that extend from the aura. Sometimes there are only a few, mostly there are too many to count (I wish I could draw what I see). I have always been shown by my guides that this is what exacerbates anxiety. The individual reaches for meaning in the physical world and gets tangled up in every body else’s business, thinking that this is their business. If you are feeling something and there is no immediate resolution or reason for your emotion then you would begin pulling in energy from everywhere around you, almost like a panic, to make sense of things. This distorts your own emotions and before you know it you are down the rabbit hole, sometimes taking years to recover. I like to remind my clients that we are energy, that we receive our wisdom from a higher source of power…The Universe/Spirit/God/Goddess… This power is not outside of us, it is within us and we are a manifestation of that power. If you want peace, go to the source. Learn to commune with the Spirit world/the universe/nature.
Here are some tips:
Meditate - I can’t stress this enough. Meditation helps you find yourself. Helps you find that centre of calm so that you can hear your Soul talking to you. If you think you can’t meditate, then it’s time to redefine what you think meditation is. Give me a call or message me and we can talk about it.
Be kind to yourself. Compassion is a state of being, not a state of doing. Start by being compassionate with yourself. When you are feeling your feelings, look at them with wonder and see how you actually cope with your circumstances. I bet you do not give yourself enough credit for the amazing way you live your life.
Spirituality = Self Awareness. Learn about yourself. Be honest with what you find out. If your beliefs need to change, change them. Change your mind if you need to. Forgive yourself if you find you have been reacting in an inappropriate manner, give thanks you are able to adjust said behaviour.
A Mindfulness exercise:
Take 5 deep breaths, to the navel, slowing the breathing down and focusing your mind on the breath going in and out.
Take note of something you can hear. It could be a car on the road or a bird outside, even roadworks. Name it and acknowledge it. Next take note of what you can see in your immediate environment. What catches your eye straight away? Name it and acknowledge it. Next, touch something, feel the texture. Name it and acknowledge it. Next, smell something. Identify it and acknowledge it. You don’t need to taste anything but you can include this too. You might taste the air or some food you happen to be eating. Again, name and acknowledge it. This exercise brings you back to your inner self. Once you are there, check in and acknowledge the anxiety. Has it calmed? If not, do you have an immediate cause eg. Walking across the road, being careful of traffic. If not, acknowledge the anxiety as something “other” and go about your daily tasks. The feelings will eventually make sense, resolve on their own or just disappear.