What is the “reason”?
For Self: Looking for the reason why, in yourself, is an easy way to self blame. How many hours/days have you looked and asked and soul searched for that answer only to turn your frustration inwards when nothing makes sense.
For Others: It is an excuse to shift a perceived responsibility you feel. It can also be a form of bullying, victim blaming.
Why am I so focused on solutions?
For Self: It is a way to pretend you are “doing something” about your problems. This constant search increases your anxiety and uses up your precious energy. It steals your life.
For Others: You and I are human. We have empathy and feel the distress of our loved ones. You want that discomfort to go away and can unconsciously blame the other person for making you feel like that.
How is there a cycle of distress, anxiety, self soothing and self loathing?
We are uncomfortable, we want to feel safe. There is a perception that anxiety is the enemy so we do whatever we can to suppress it. We need to rationalise everything! We are blamed when we are struggling with life and there is a fear we will be rejected if our struggle becomes a perceived problem for those around us. Lots of different circumstances bring us to the point of “Aboutism”
Where can I help myself?
Feeling anxious? Name the emotion, accept the emotion, feel the emotion. Do not attach a story or memory, just let it be an emotion. It will pass. This requires practice, patience and self awareness. You also receive the benefit of actually getting to know and truly like yourself.
Find the support that supports you during this process. Someone who just listens. If YOU don’t have an immediate insight then the timing is out, there is more to experience.
Seeking a psychic will give you your karmic contract and the energy around the situation as well as outcomes. In my experience, both personally and professionally, it very rarely ends the issue. Psychic readings are supporting the process, it does not take it away or allow you to control the out of control.
The healing and coaching I do provides the stillness you require to soothe the psyche during your personal growth process.
Sometimes, with readings and healings, there is spontaneous healing, sometimes it takes the time it takes. It is all part of your Karma, the contract you came here to fulfil.
From My Heart...
Doing healing and psychic work I always felt an obligation to provide all the answers and if I couldn’t then I was not worthy. Using broad statements like “Aboutism” is counterproductive to true healing. Life always provides the backdrop and the Soul knows the way. When you come to see me I am your support. Your answers and way always lie within. I hold you in the stillness of your Soul while you access your Wisdom. You always hold the ultimate Power of your journey. My privilege is to be in that space while you do.
You set yourself up to fail, you reset the goalposts when you are close to making things easier, you pull out an obscure memory to rationalise a decision, reaction or choice. You can use this big stick you punish yourself because you could not predict the outcome and use retrospect to shame yourself for not seeing it coming.
There is no glory in punishing yourself today for decisions you made in the past. The set of circumstances that existed in a past decision or situation do not exist and can never be replicated. If you grew up with shame or are susceptible to self criticism then you could be unconsciously using the past to stay in your comfort zone. The minute you become aware of the difference, even if you're not aware of the trigger, your comfort zone becomes your uncomfort zone and nothing will feel balanced until the bias is addressed. This video series explains the process in a fun and simple way that takes the power away from your critical self and gives it back to your creative self.
I found this list a few years ago. These are not my words and I've forgotten where I found it but I love the simple message they provide. For full autonomy over your destiny it is very important to know what your values, beliefs and boundaries are. Remember they are changeable. You are allowed to adjust as required.
This type of meditation is for relaxation and stress relief. It is a guided meditation and best for developing a creative mind.
This guided meditation of images takes the person on a journey eg. to the ocean, on a beach, forest, garden etc. The person does not need to participate in any way.
This type of meditation is passive and designed for inward looking.
MINDFULNESS MEDITATION - see body meditation on Meditation Page
This is a meditation to examine yourself. It helps you get in touch with yourself, your emotions. It is an active meditation. You are asked to experience your emotions within the meditation without pushing them away. It is best not to try to work out where the emotion came from. You allow yourself to experience it, stay with it and when it passes you will receive your insights.
To do this meditation you must focus on one thing eg. Breath, mandala, a star. If your thoughts take you away from this you just acknowledge the thoughts, let them pass and continue to focus your item. When the item disappears you will be feeling an emotion. Allow yourself to feel this until it lifts. Write about this, keep a journal.
This is an inward looking meditation, though active.
This meditation is designed to open the third eye. It is a silent meditation. You sit in silence, open your third eye/brow chakra and look for a light.. The light will grow in intensity and can change colour. This is the third eye opening.
Your sense of space may alter. You may feel you are in a large space or even a small space. This is for increasing your psychic abilities and developing your sensitivity/feelings.
This is a passive meditation. This is an inward looking meditation.
ATTUNEMENT MEDITATION - see sitting in the power on Meditation Page
This meditation is to link you with spirit. It builds an connection where both you and spirit can come together and communicate. It does not happen immediately. It is something that must be built. This meditation raises our vibration and then spirit lowers their vibration to meet ours. Attunement develops your talents, may identify your talents eg. Artist, healer, musician, medium. However these talents are only possibilities, they must still be activated. You must participate for these talents to be developed.
The signs with attunement are physical. They may be a feeling of cobwebs on the face, a sense of movement in the body, a heaviness, warmth or fast breathing (quickening). These are signs that spirit is touching your aura.
Close the eyes and imagine there is a beam of gold light coming down into the top of your head. It moves down to the solar plexus and outwards into the aura. The aura is expanded by thought and filled with the gold light. The aura is then opened at the top and expanded upwards. The connection is now made. You then look for any signs of spirit, visualisations, feelings/sensitivity/senses, hearing voices, seeing.
This is an active meditation. This is an outward looking meditation.
This millennium I have noticed that our Soul growth is being fast tracked. Our understanding of the other dimensions and the energy that powers our Soul is deeper, information is readily accessible and the ways we express our Divine light is so diverse.
So, in this new way of being, is meditation still relevant. I must admit I am very hit and miss with my regular meditation practices until the other day when I had a message directly from Spirit. It was passed on to me and I am sharing it with you.
If you would like to advance spiritually, if you would like to strengthen your intuition, if you have regular visits from Spirit or are a Sensitive/Psychic/Empath/Medium you must find a meditation circle, join with like minded souls, share your experiences and feel part of the greater power of the Spirit world. And, I cannot stress this enough, you must make a commitment to it. If that freaks you out then good, you must need it! I have heard all the reasons why you can’t make a commitment to meditation and I am here to tell you, I am not here to punish or shame you. Regular meditation is possible and life altering, just give it a go.
Here are some things I want you to consider:
In the early 2000’s when I was running meditation classes I would notice that some people would attend regular classes and then drop out suddenly because they were experiencing personal difficulty.
If only they stayed and rode out the tough times, they would have found something even better. Mostly they stayed and flourished. Whenever anyone asks how to begin their Spiritual Journey or find their Life Purpose, I say meditate.
A regular meditation practice is so vital to your Spiritual growth and Self Development. It should form the basis for any Spiritual practice.
Our awakening is definitely being fast tracked but we cannot develop in isolation. It is necessary to share our experiences, to have them normalised.
In the early days when my heart was opening to the Spirit world and I was learning a new way of being I would get messages all different ways. I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me and I sought gurus, read all the books and, most importantly, found meditation.
At the time my reason for seeking meditation was not to connect with the world of Spirit, it was to find a way to quiet the mind and relax. I thought I was there to chill out but something wonderful happened. I found a way to effectively communicate with my guides and my Soul. I didn’t know I could. I thought it was only psychics who could do this. It was life changing, and it changed big time.
My life suddenly had more depth and meaning and it made a big difference that I had someone, my meditation teacher, to help me feel normal about the changes that were happening to me and around me.
I found a peace deep in my soul that I’d never known before, and big disruption. Why disruption? Disruption comes when the lies we are telling ourselves are exposed.
So let’s look at the elements of change as a Spiritual being…
Resistance to change comes from fear of the unknown. Those of you who know how to manage change have mastered the fear. That mastery does not kick in for every occasion though, so there is always a moment or two where you must assess the risks. Always check in with your intuition vs your instinct.
You need energy to facilitate a seamless change. It is necessary to stop and assess life when change is on the horizon, especially if you are feeling anxious about it. Often we are involved in many dramas or projects that are not for our highest good. So stop for a minute and do a stocktake. What is draining you in this moment? Will you let that go? Is it even yours to fix?
Is it mine?
You might have other events that have exhausted your energy reserves. Ask yourself, do I need to be involved here? It doesn’t mean you never help or be of comfort to friends and family however when you are in the middle of a change this is not where your energies are best spent. Be honest and walk away from energy draining situations.
**This relates to Karmic Debt which I will talk about in another blog.
What do I do?
So many factors can interfere with our transition through change. You need maximum energy and focus to facilitate change. It is not always reasonable to assume you will have the energy or the focus required, however, when faced with change you have an opportunity to clear the deck. Assess, what can you let go of right now? Is something taking your precious energy?
How do I manage in limbo?
Stay focused on your needs. Look after yourself.
Learn to hear your intuition. If you’re not sure how to do that, here is a link to a FULL BODY MEDITATION. Your body is your link to intuition.
Let your thoughts flow but you do not always have to follow them. They are not always telling you the truth.
Find your support system, your tribe. You will know them. They boost your energy, not drain it.
Above all, remember, this limbo is not forever. The wheel always turns. And when it does, you will be ready.
Why a strong connection with the Power of Spirit is so important right now
Soul knows the change and has made the adjustment already. The discomfort you feel is the misalignment of mind and emotional bodies. This discomfort is what gets us moving towards realignment and The Universe provides the situations to help us.
With each experience you lift your vibration. Old beliefs, emotional attachments to memories and sometimes, even physical pain, dissolves. After this healing experience your Soul, Mind and Body realign, stronger, wiser. You are ready for the next step. This cycle repeats itself constantly throughout your life. Accepting this fact helps you to make those transitions as smooth as possible.
Sometimes inspirational signs or writing come along at just the right time…
They make me stop and think about my own world view. Once upon a time I would fear my negative thoughts. I was very afraid they would have an immediate effect and my energy, my Soul, my aura would all be tainted. I was in constant fear I would push my spiritual development backwards. I fought hard to make myself more forgiving, compassionate and grateful.
Do you know what happened?…
I ended up keeping the terrible people and damaging situations close by until I was able to heal the uncomfortable feelings. Pfftt, never going to happen. I was trying to control others rather than looking honestly at myself. I finally realised that keeping the damaging people and situations close by was doing the very thing I was trying to avoid. I was crippling myself, physically, mentally and spiritually.
So, I went back to the drawing board…
I put down the books I was reading. (which is where a lot of misinformation was coming from). I let go of the teachers and mentors that kept me in a state of fear (it was in their best interests to victimise others to feel power). I talked to my guides, I communed with my Soul, my inner wisdom, found more compassionate teachers and discovered my own path.
Which was lucky because…
One day I was in a situation where I could not reconcile my circumstances and the damaging negative thoughts came thick and fast. I was hating the people who had power over me. They were using their positions of power to bully me and no amount of compassion, forgiveness or gratitude brought a resolution. I was more terrified of my negative thoughts than the bullies. The affirmations, protective bubbles and loving thoughts were useless, plus pushing the thoughts down was making me physically sick. I am an adaptor. If I find myself in a difficult relationship or job, I adapt. People who are psychic, sensitive, empathic know what I’m talking about. We know how to read the room and we think we can control the room. Before you know it, you are floored.
I needed a new strategy…
I remember a distant healing technique I’d learned and I adapted it to this situation. I created an energy vortex coming from my crown chakra and sent my thoughts, all the ugly ones, to the Spirit world. Effectively, I had surrendered my need to control the bullies and let the energy of Spirit do the heavy lifting on this one. It worked a treat.
So what happened?…
As in all situations where I have felt this powerless, the Universe was reminding me it was time to move on. So, I surrendered the whole situation, the way forward was revealed to me and all I had to do was step into the opportunities that magically turned up. A lot was taken out of my hands and the best possible outcome occurred.
I still had to make the decisions and take responsibility for those decisions but with the power of Spirit backing me, the way was crystal clear. I moved on from the job, money came from all angles and opened up the opportunity to work as a psychic and healer full time. My dream job.
So here’s the verse, attributed to Lao Tzu, I came across that gave words to this process.
Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
I’ll say it again…
YOU GET TO CHOOSE. How fabulous is that. Life is not out of your hands, it is your life, not Spirits, not your teachers or gurus, and definitely not your friends and family.
One last point. Forgiveness, Gratitude and Compassion are not things you can make yourself do. Sometimes you are in a place where you need to feel unforgiving, angry and selfish in order to move into a more healing heart space. Forgiveness, Gratitude and Compassion are states of being, not doing. You evolve into these states and act without a second thought. When I hear someone say to me they must be more forgiving when they’re clearly angry or I’m don’t like this situation but I’m grateful for the experience or I must be more compassionate then put treat themselves as if they don’t matter, I remind them that these feelings of anger, resentment and shame must be expressed so they may move forward. If you do not experience the so called “negative” feelings you will never know Forgiveness, Gratitude or Compassion in their fullness. They wait for you on the other side.
I absolutely recommend using the exercise of the Crown Chakra Vortex as a way of transmuting your troubling thoughts. Or, you could use the Morning Pages which I have up on my website, just CLICK HERE for the link.
I don’t subscribe to the idea of “manifesting” but I do love Vision Boards…
Vision boards are wonderful tools for focus. Once created they are not something pretty to look or to grant wishes. The are the beginning of something creative. So, lets do something a bit different here this week and explore some processes using a Vision Board to help you find your Big Picture.
Materials you might need:
It doesn’t have to be a board on the wall. You can use things like a book or even your phone or computer. The only criteria I am going to insist on is that you can add a picture or two. So find something that will suit you. Here are some suggestions…
-project cardboard (always a favourite), cork board, magnetic board, journal, exercise book, A4/5
-glue, magnets, pins for a corkboard
-colouring pencils/pens, decorations (glitter, material, coloured paper)
-pictures or drawings (a must), a visual aid
Make a list of all the things you think you would like right now or in the future…
Don’t hold back, make it a long list if you like, because this is the first part of the process. Leave your list for a day or so and revise it. Leave it another couple of days and revise again. Every time you revisit your list, look at what you would like to add or subtract. You could even meditate on the list, see what takes your fancy. You could even use the process I talked about in LAST WEEKS BLOG to decide what is important to you. It is necessary to find what is important because when the going gets a little tough you will use the connection to your Big Picture to keep you on track.
Next, prioritise your list…
Sort your list into Be Do Have. Is this something you want to BE, is this something you want to DO, or is this something you want to HAVE? This will help your subconscious begin to work out how to make it happen for you.
**I want to take a breath here and remind you to constantly revise your list and become as specific as you can about what it looks like. It doesn’t matter if it is still a bit vague though, let things simmer**
Put together your Vision Board. Stick on your poster or make a picture book, make it look inviting. There is no right or wrong way to build a Vision Board. Colours, different textures, positioning. This process helps you bond with your ideas, helps you fall more in love with them.
This is the intuitive part…
Take time to look/visit your Vision Board every morning and night. Look and allow the feelings of satisfaction this gives you. EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT. See yourself in the picture and let yourself FEEL what it will be like when you have succeeded. It is easier to stay committed if you can remember how something feels rather than intellectualise it. Ask yourself every time “Is this still my dream, my Big Picture?”
**adjust your Vision board accordingly and if you think something needs a tweak, do that**
Surrender the process and outcome to your Objective Mind, just let it go. Allow the Divine Power that works with you to adjust your life experiences so they align with your dreams. Allow your Self to be open to shifts and changes in your surroundings, your beliefs, your attitudes and your perspective. Be prepared to let go of the old, make way for the new. Let the Power of Spirit move you through difficult choices and support you when you are ready to step into the new. When the time is right you will know when to act because you would have done the preparation.
If you have any doubts or questions, meditate on them, day dream, check in to your heart. The answers will come to you intuitively, in your dreams or as inspiration. You must give it time. Sometimes our dreams may take days, weeks, months, years. Just remember, they happen in the time that suits your Soul Journey. It is uncomfortable. Sometimes your life will change, this prepares you for it but the decision is still up to you. There are never any rights or wrongs here, you cannot make a mistake or miss an opportunity. Just letting yourself dream about something you know will lift you is a lift to the Soul. Experiment with it. Test it out. Adjust accordingly. Have fun!