"Aboutism" The What, Why, How, Where of Letting Go

A long time ago I got very tired of listening to the adage - “everything happens for a reason”
I used it so often myself and then one day I got really annoyed when someone used it during a very stressful time in my life and I became very upset because I realised they were not listening to me. When I thought on all the times I had used it and understood how it became an easy fallback excuse when I felt uncomfortable in the other persons distress.

What is the “reason”? 
For Self: Looking for the reason why, in yourself, is an easy way to self blame. How many hours/days have you looked and asked and soul searched for that answer only to turn your frustration inwards when nothing makes sense.
For Others: It is an excuse to shift a perceived responsibility you feel. It can also be a form of bullying, victim blaming. 
Why am I so focused on solutions? 
For Self: It is a way to pretend you are “doing something” about your problems. This constant search increases your anxiety and uses up your precious energy. It steals your life.
For Others: You and I are human. We have empathy and feel the distress of our loved ones. You want that discomfort to go away and can unconsciously blame the other person for making you feel like that. 
How is there a cycle of distress, anxiety, self soothing and self loathing? 
​We are uncomfortable, we want to feel safe. There is a perception that anxiety is the enemy so we do whatever we can to suppress it. We need to rationalise everything! We are blamed when we are struggling with life and there is a fear we will be rejected if our struggle becomes a perceived problem for those around us. Lots of different circumstances bring us to the point of “Aboutism” 


Where can I help myself? 
Feeling anxious? Name the emotion, accept the emotion, feel the emotion. Do not attach a story or memory, just let it be an emotion. It will pass. This requires practice, patience and self awareness. You also receive the benefit of actually getting to know and truly like yourself. 
Find the support that supports you during this process. Someone who just listens. If YOU don’t have an immediate insight then the timing is out, there is more to experience.

Seeking a psychic will give you your karmic contract and the energy around the situation as well as outcomes. In my experience, both personally and professionally, it very rarely ends the issue. Psychic readings are supporting the process, it does not take it away or allow you to control the out of control.
The healing and coaching I do provides the stillness you require to soothe the psyche during your personal growth process. 
Sometimes, with readings and healings, there is spontaneous healing, sometimes it takes the time it takes. It is all part of your Karma, the contract you came here to fulfil.  

From My Heart...
Doing healing and psychic work I always felt an obligation to provide all the answers and if I couldn’t then I was not worthy. Using broad statements like “Aboutism” is counterproductive to true healing. Life always provides the backdrop and the Soul knows the way. When you come to see me I am your support. Your answers and way always lie within. I hold you in the stillness of your Soul while you access your Wisdom. You always hold the ultimate Power of your journey. My privilege is to be in that space while you do. 


With love


Vicki xx