I think this is a great way to start a conversation about anger. Anger is not an action, it is an emotion which is one of the body’s neurological responses to stress. When we feel anger it is essential to our survival. It responds to fear.
The physiological responses of bunched muscles, increased heart rate, rapid breathing, just to name a few put us in a state of high alert, ready for action, until we locate the cause of the anger/fear.
So what happens next. A while ago it was considered bad form to feel and express anger. We were told it was a sign of weakness, that we must transmute it into love or something more passive.
In recent times it is recognised how important it is to recognise and express all of our emotions, even anger. So why does anger feel so scary and why do we, at first, want to push it away?
Anger is usually associated with fear. If we face our anger, we must also confront a fear. If your anger is sustainable it will override any anxiety about what we are facing. Perhaps deep down we know the need to release the physical reactions will give us relief.
If your anger is short lived and you are left with the fear or anxiety. This is uncomfortable and you may want to push down the fear/anxiety, forget it ever existed, or talk yourself out of it. This could lead to your anger being with you for longer.
Unexpressed anger could manifest as physical and/or emotional symptoms. For myself, my personal health issues, stem from unexpressed anger.
I remember in my 20’s when I would have an anger release how much my chronic pain receded and how good I felt. It was a revelation… I used my anger to stop fooling myself that my life was going to improve and faced the truth of my situation. I used the momentum of my anger to facilitate change. Every time fear rose up, the anger overtook it. I was tired of making excuses for other peoples poor behaviour but mostly I was tired of making myself small to accommodate that poor behaviour. In a way, my anger made me large and imposing. My anger helped me feel invincible. I was tapped into my truth and nothing could hurt me in that moment.
I have seen this played out by the incredible Grace Tame, the current Australian of The Year. You can see her anger is being channelled in a very healthy way. You can see how articulate she is, she does not back down and continues to support herself in every sense.
This is what a healthy response to anger gives us. It gives us the power to maintain the courage of our convictions because it is YOUR TRUTH, and no longer will you fall into oppression.
Once you feel this amazing innate power you will never forget how strong you were and your energetic vibrations increases, you release another layer and move towards your true nature. You can draw on this memory to never feel that fear again. That is the true gift of anger. You connect to a greater part of you that nothing and nobody will ever violate again. You can build on this feeling because if you can do it once and survive the process then you must be able to apply it again when needed.
P.S. I do not wish to make light of anger expression when some of us have incredible difficulty verbalising our pain. Ancestral conditioning or even past life repression can be the source of this fear and this type of anger expression and/or release requires specific therapies. (see Spiritual Wellbeing and Past Life Regression for an appointment)
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Past Life Regression Therapy
Last week when we had a discussion around detachment online I found it really interesting the responses to the word I chose…Detach.
In a positive flow, to be detached, means you have reached a point in your life where you have matured in your relationships and do not become emotionally reactive when something you disagree with is raised. In a detached state you are aware of your emotional response to the disagreement and you are able to view it objectively, accept you are upset, and not let the reaction distract you from the discussion. In this type of scenario your perspective can be so clear and you are able to contribute effectively to any discussion.
There is nothing wrong with having an emotional response to something you disagree with, by the way, however if you need to keep your mind sharp in any negotiation then detachment is your best friend.
Detachment is also great when you are a reader or a healer or any practitioner where you are immersed in your clients lives and their emotions. Detachment allows you to view their situation objectively and the Soul messages are so clear there is no doubt when you bring them through.
In the negative flow, detachment feels like a disconnect from everything that feels good in life. You feel sad, alone and in the extreme depressed. This is because you are in denial of your true Self and are so exhausted from suppressing your uncomfortable feelings that your mind closes in on itself for self protection.
Once upon a time I lived a life full of the people I loved, people I respected and people who lived less fortunately than me. I felt all the emotions. I took on all the injustices of the world and would sympathise with anybody I thought was being hard done by. I was a classic rescuer.
When my own life became traumatic and out of control I had nothing for myself, I became physically, mentally and spiritually depleted. My saving grace was teaching myself detachment.
It felt weird because all the things I used to boost my energy such as gossip, showing off, and passive aggressive behaviour all disappeared. What was left felt like a void. I could not relate to my old life/friends and my new life/friends were all new and an unknown quantity. It is a very lonely place.
It is in that lonely and quiet place that the only and most important relationship developed. The relationship to myself. I understand now that detachment is really me fully supporting myself. I am my own best friend and I do not need to draw on anybody else’s energy to support a point of view I might not fully believe in.
I found the Buddhist teachings on detachment very helpful at the time. It was like I needed that permission to give up my feelings of being fully immersed in my own and everyone else’s drama. To be away from the pain felt like I wasn’t showing I cared. By practicing detachment I was able to connect to my loved ones on a much deeper level. I saw for myself the deepening of our connections to one another. I did not understand, until I got there, that that level of connection was possible. It helped me open myself deeply to the world of Spirit because i was not running from myself.
Connection to Spirit requires full self honesty, that is really hard, hard, but worth it. I can’t describe in words how comforting, amazing, safe I felt with those who truly loved me and I can honestly say for the first time ever, not only did I learn to love who I am but I liked myself. We show love to ourselves unconditionally when we feed and clothe ourselves, that is deeply ingrained. To actually like yourself, consciously requires next level courage.
Best feeling in the world and now I am my own best friend, forever!!
Past Life Regression Therapy
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Insights I have gathered from my life experiences. Profound messages from my connection with Spirit.