Detachment

Last week when we had a discussion around detachment online I found it really interesting the responses to the word I chose…Detach.

In a positive flow, to be detached, means you have reached a point in your life where you have matured in your relationships and do not become emotionally reactive when something you disagree with is raised. In a detached state you are aware of your emotional response to the disagreement and you are able to view it objectively, accept you are upset, and not let the reaction distract you from the discussion. In this type of scenario your perspective can be so clear and you are able to contribute effectively to any discussion.

There is nothing wrong with having an emotional response to something you disagree with, by the way, however if you need to keep your mind sharp in any negotiation then detachment is your best friend. 

Detachment is also great when you are a reader or a healer or any practitioner where you are immersed in your clients lives and their emotions. Detachment allows you to view their situation objectively and the Soul messages are so clear there is no doubt when you bring them through.

In the negative flow, detachment feels like a disconnect from everything that feels good in life. You feel sad, alone and in the extreme depressed. This is because you are in denial of your true Self and are so exhausted from suppressing your uncomfortable feelings that your mind closes in on itself for self protection.
 
Once upon a time I lived a life full of the people I loved, people I respected and people who lived less fortunately than me. I felt all the emotions. I took on all the injustices of the world and would sympathise with anybody I thought was being hard done by. I was a classic rescuer. 

When my own life became traumatic and out of control I had nothing for myself, I became physically, mentally and spiritually depleted. My saving grace was teaching myself detachment.

It felt weird because all the things I used to boost my energy such as gossip, showing off, and passive aggressive behaviour all disappeared. What was left felt like a void. I could not relate to my old life/friends and my new life/friends were all new and an unknown quantity. It is a very lonely place.

It is in that lonely and quiet place that the only and most important relationship developed. The relationship to myself. I understand now that detachment is really me fully supporting myself. I am my own best friend and I do not need to draw on anybody else’s energy to support a point of view I might not fully believe in. 

I found the Buddhist teachings on detachment very helpful at the time. It was like I needed that permission to give up my feelings of being fully immersed in my own and everyone else’s drama. To be away from the pain felt like I wasn’t showing I cared. By practicing detachment I was able to connect to my loved ones on a much deeper level. I saw for myself the deepening of our connections to one another. I did not understand, until I got there, that that level of connection was possible. It helped me open myself deeply to the world of Spirit because i was not running from myself. 

Connection to Spirit requires full self honesty, that is really hard, hard, but worth it. I can’t describe in words how comforting, amazing, safe I felt with those who truly loved me and I can honestly say for the first time ever, not only did I learn to love who I am but I liked myself. We show love to ourselves unconditionally when we feed and clothe ourselves, that is deeply ingrained. To actually like yourself, consciously requires next level courage. 
Best feeling in the world and now I am my own best friend, forever!!


With love
Vicki xx
​
Tarot Readings
Psychic Readings
Crystal Reiki
Past Life Regression Therapy
Soul Coaching
​Tarot Reading School