The Two Types Of Boundaries

I sat down to write about boundaries for my students and something wonderful happened. Every time I wrote a bit down I was pushed and extended past what I thought boundaries meant. I have written about boundaries before in previous blogs and I want to share something I had never considered previously....


We all talk about strengthening our boundaries but how do you tell when your boundaries are being compromised. What happens?


I really had to think about what that means to me as a practitioner, as a teacher and personally. 


Firstly we need to identify what boundaries are and where they are stored in our psyche or soul. Boundaries are a part of living as a human. We choose our boundaries and we enforce those boundaries. We have been taught the boundaries we live by and we have created boundaries through lived experience. Lets keep it simple. We have two types of boundaries, lets look at what they are and how we experience them…


#1 Learned boundaries
Learned boundaries begin in childhood and through our lived experiences we shift and change them as we become more at ease with our world and our part in it. For example, you may have not enjoyed broccoli as a child however as your tastes changed and you became a little more adventurous in your palette you introduced it to your diet, learned how to prepare it and voila you realise that broccoli is not so bad after all. This boundary represents your values. You will feel the boundary challenge in the body. It is visceral. This is your excitement and anxiety (solar plexus), intuition (sacral chakra), soul (heart chakra) all reaching out to say things are changing. Your body is the barometer so listening to it will keep you healthy, creative and feeling in control. This is always Self Growth.


My prescription: meditation to learn to listen to your body/soul. Exercise to become aware of the subtle nuances of the body. 


#2 Self Imposed boundaries
This boundary is one of fear and in some instances trauma. This boundary is decided on by our belief system and can be somewhat more difficult to shift. An example would be where you have a phobia, superstition and outdated religious beliefs. No amount of logic, cajoling or forcing ourselves will shift your deep seated conviction that something bad will happen if you defy this self imposed boundary. This boundary is felt in the mind and can present itself as chronic anxiety (brow chakra), depression (sacral or base chakra) and rage (throat or base chakra). The self imposed boundary is the antithesis of change and expansion. When this boundary is being challenged it is difficult to identify. It presents itself as a lie and therefore sends us off on a distracting quest to frustration when nothing makes sense or is resolved. With mindful precision you can catch this challenge and master the fear. I promise it is doable and requires real dedication to your mental wellbeing. 


My prescription: Past Life Regression, Regular Counselling, Reiki, regular group meditation, mindfulness training. The best way to gain control of this boundary shift is to ignore the story/lie the mind wants to impose and stay with the emotion/feeling until it too disappears. No adding to the trauma by making up excuses, just be present. 


These boundaries will only become apparent to you when you are more than ready to move them on or strengthen (for your highest good only here) them. The stronger they affect you the stronger the change and the greater the benefit to you as a person. My personal mission has always been: if I can be my best self then that will ripple out into the universe and give strength and love to all. I can only be my best when my cup is full. Only then can I give to others. Strong, healthy boundaries give me the space to be my best self. I have lived with physical pain and personal trauma all my life and living my life as a spiritual being has been the best decision I have ever made. My spirituality gives me something to live for and I will back myself at every turn. It works, and it works well. 


If you are ever feeling low or not understanding when you are feeling blocked or stuck, contact me for some Soul Coaching and we will work together to make a difference in your life.


With love, 
Vicki xx


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