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"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe"
-Gustave Flaubert- |
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 A little background...
Once upon a time I suffered from acute anxiety. It was debilitating, sometimes it prevented me from doing things like driving and generally making life miserable. I didn’t know I could do something about it, I thought that was life and you endure. One day I discovered meditation, then Tarot cards, then like minded people (my tribe), then I was at peace with my trauma and my anxiety became a background hum. I thought I’d conquered anxiety but what I’d done was place myself in a pretty psychic prison (I have acquired that phrase but I cannot remember who first coined it, props to you whoever you are). You see, I placed myself in a controlled environment that did not challenge me and I thrived. This, my friends, is not a bad place, nor did I do a bad thing to myself, I just created a peaceful place where I could not be reached and it was bliss. In this time I taught myself some very valuable lessons, understood my Soul Self and developed the reading, healing and teaching style I still use to this day. I honestly thought I had it nailed!! Hahaha...not even close. As is usually happens for me, life moved forward and I had another intense trauma to face. (My friends, I have had so much trauma this lifetime one health professional looked me in the eye one day and expressed surprise that I was not a balled up in the corner rocking back and forth..I’m not kidding. My first thought was, s**t how bad am I?) Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yes, another life challenge, and it was one of the biggest. This trauma was with me for 10 years, life was torn apart and had to be reimagined. My old friend anxiety popped up and wanted to be part of this next phase. I left the New Age part of my Spiritual Journey and entered the world of the MIND/BODY/SPIRIT holistic approach to healing. So, getting to the point... Existential Anxiety. I met a wonderful Soul/Teacher/Dear Friend at the very beginning of that time and she showed me how anxiety can be a very useful tool. I won’t dress it up, anxiety is not pleasant. Existential anxiety is something that is rampant in this modern life, we all have it. What I’ve come to accept and understand that it is not the enemy it has been made out to be. I’m not talking about the type of anxiety that is directly attributed to acute trauma, I am referring to anxiety that has no obvious origin, the feeling that comes from nowhere and our thoughts take up the reins and gallop to full blown panic. This is EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY and once you look at this type of anxiety in a different context to what you’ve been conditioned to believe you can make it work for you...yes, really! Understanding Existential Anxiety Many explanations detail the root causes are and how to treat it, all valid. I would like to break it down to simple terms. Thought number one: an anxious thought that has been triggered by an emotional reaction to external stimuli. Thought number five: you realise you are feeling anxious and attribute the cause to thought number five. Because you cannot reconcile the thought and the feeling (they are not from the same cause) you become caught in a maelstrom of cause, effect, blame, cause round and round. Note, this thought has not originated from any direct action, it is something you have “thought.” It has come from nothing substantial, it becomes an existential threat. You cannot solve an existential threat, it is wholly in your imagination. Anxiety is uncomfortable and often has a physical reaction. So you are caught up with a physical reaction to an existential threat, your mind is in turmoil and your immediate response is “fix it.” Now you are stuck. It’s Not A Bad Thing..I Promise Existential anxiety is part of your psychic ability. It really is! EA lets you know you are having a vibrational or spiritual shift. It is a handy tool, not a comfortable tool, but something you can utilise. So, when EA is shows itself here are some handy tips.
With love, Vicki xx Psychic readings Past Life Regression Tarot Reading School Reiki Crystals
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 The image of The Hermit is one of solitude and humility. It often evokes a sadness because the hermit looks lonely with no promise of support in the near future. Depending on how you are feeling in yourself at the moment the image does reflect an inner longing for something that does not exist.
In a positive light, The Hermit represents The Fool’s getting of wisdom. The Fool has travelled a far distance and learned much about himself and the world around him. The Fool feels empathy and compassion, is deeply connected to his Self and is able to understand his place in the world. Because of this he often feels apart from the people around him as many would not understand his wisdom. The Hermit is more than happy to be in his own space at this time. It is necessary to withdraw while you are considering where your place is in the flow of life when you have had a spiritual awakening. Your own company is soothing and your own thoughts are clear and insightful. The Hermit needs this time to decide his next path. The difference here is that The Hermit now is able to choose his own way, he sees the whole picture. Using The Hermit energy in your life assists you with meditation and takes away the fear that you need to fill your life with noise or constant stimulus. Using Hermit wisdom assists you to be comfortable with your own company, you can hear your own thoughts and acknowledge that all you have suffered has made you richer through personal experience. With Love, Vicki xx Tarot Reading School Psychic Readings Reiki Crystals Past Life Regression Spiritual Coaching  It is difficult to realise until it is sometimes too late how out of balance our life can get. Sometimes the only clue is illness or anxiety and by then we are way past heading it off at the pass. It is possible to stay in touch with yourself and catch when you are heading for that fall. It is no surprise if I tell you that anything that connects you to your physical body is the perfect way to keep in touch with the subtle message your Soul is giving you. Honour your body and you will have perfect mind, body, soul balance. Being in touch with your body is not only about diet and exercise. Have you considered meditation. When we meditate mindfully we connect to the ebb and flow of energy in and out of the physical body. At the beginning we might experience the physical aches and pains but when you become more practiced at it you learn to rise above this and access the higher planes and the auric bodies. It is here that you can learn to access vital energetic body changes before they manifest in the physical world. It is not a cure all, that is not for us to promise, however I can, however, guarantee an intimate connection to the subtle shifts in your physical and auric fields. Your body is balanced when you know intuitively what it needs. Your mind is balance when your connection to the shifts gives you control over your life. Your Soul is balanced because you are eternally connected to the greater power of Spirit. Being connected to this greater power gives you the strength to walk your path and be confident in the choices you’ve made. With Love, Vicki xx psychic readings Tarot Reading School Crystal Reiki Past Life Regression Therapy Soul rEvolution Meditation. With Love,
Vicki xx psychic readings crystal reiki past life regression therapy tarot reading school There is much said and written about childhood trauma, inner child work and rebirthing. We experience this trauma in two ways, the Soul Self and, the Physical World and I think it can be difficult to reconcile any childhood trauma because when we have the emotional maturity to process the event, that event is too far away to look at objectively. We’ve already created a belief system and a set of survival tools and it is frightening to let them go. In it’s destructive form the wounded child prevents us from expressing our magical child. In it’s positive sense the experiences can create resilience and compassion within us.
I have found, in my own time as a healer and in my own life, that healing wounded child trauma is such a personal experience and no one modality is a cure all. I also understand that sometimes it takes a lifetime to reconcile. I have worked with many teachers and healers over the years, I have plumbed the depths of my own trauma and this is how I explain the process. Childhood trauma is stored in the base chakra. It comes from family, ancestral and DNA patterns that are repeated and passed on. We do not always take on all the ancestral behaviours however we respond to those that resonate with our personality and our Soul contracts. We cannot destroy the memory or the trauma. They are with us for life because they are embedded in our collective psyche. It is important to recognise when you are traumatising yourself, judging yourself and being generally horrible to yourself, that you are reinforcing this embedded belief. The good news is that while you cannot banish the experience you can detach and reconcile yourself from the emotions that are trapped in the body and the mind. It is simple and complex. When you deeply connect to your soul you really get to know the real you. When you are able to fully accept all the elements of your personality and become your own best friend it makes it easier to recognise when those emotions or patterns bubble up. This type of cycle is called conscious consciousness. In this state you will feel the response, recognise the response, make a conscious decision about your reaction and act accordingly. Sometimes we have a win and sometimes we have a relapse. You will thrive and regain control of your life, your emotions, your creativity and your spark of joy for life. It is achievable and worth the effort you put in. P.S. please remember this process may take many lifetimes. Compassion, forgiveness and gratitude are the outcomes of this process. You can’t force them they are states of being, you become them. With love, Vicki xx psychic readings crystal reiki past life regression therapy spiritual counselling Tarot Reading School  Health and indulgence abounds with this weeks card. By drawing on the power of the queen you have the opportunity to indulge your senses. Enjoy good food and wine, make sure you spoil yourself. Colours are important. Whatever you are wearing will boost your energy so lots of orange, red and yellow if you are feeling a little sluggish, softer blues and greens if you are needing some nurturing, purple and whites if you need connection to your intuition, gold if you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
The queen has a message for you: be mindful of taking care of yourself this week, be a little bit indulgent and selfish. You have energy to spare and while it is nice to help those in need, be discerning. There are those in your aura who must remain within their discomfort for soul growth. They are not your responsibility, even if you have energy to spare. You have love and compassion, however this does not require sacrifice, at this time. So, enjoy life’s pleasures, this energy will soon be at an end but you will have created some beautiful memories. With Love, Vicki xx psychic readings tarot readings reiki past life regression therapy tarot masterclass tarot reading school meditation  I have been reading Tarot cards for more than 25 years and it was only last year that I had a deep spiritual understanding of their role in my life. You see… I had always thought of them as tools, cards, something I used when I did a reading for a client.
I had one of those Aha moments recently when I finally understood the real magic of owning and building a personal relationship with my Tarot cards and it was so profound that it still blows my mind! I'll never forget the first deck of tarot cards I picked up. I still have them!! When I got them I religiously memorised the meanings, I followed the directions and I fell in love. Over the years my relationship with the Tarot has gone through a transformation, much like any personal relationship. I have fallen in and out of like with the cards but they have always remained a constant for me, a stability. Do you know why? It's because they have always spoken the truth and held me to account for the choices I’ve made but not once have they let me down. If anything the Tarot has driven me to be a better person. Learning the Tarot has taught me how to communicate with people and my guides. The Tarot has taught me empathy and compassion. In all this time I have finally understood the relationship I have with the Tarot reflects the relationship I have with my Soul, my Intuition. When I have been alone, lost and wandering, when I could not feel the connection with my guides or inner wisdom, the Tarot has been there, the constant that formed the bridge I needed. To know in my heart that I am never alone. The Tarot will always reflects my true self. That is why sometimes I don’t like the card I choose. When I work with students I encourage them to use the Tarot as an Holistic Tool. Look at the meaning, use the image, colours, symbols, and archetypes to invoke the power within. These days with all the noise of the digital world and the overwhelm of the 24 hour news cycle it is difficult to spend time to do the inner work and I can certainly relate to that. I am here to pass on a message from your inner guidance, your Soul, your Higher Self, “make a commitment to a regular practice that keeps you in constant connection with Spirit.” I discovered mine many years ago and only now can I appreciate it's special place in my heart. I now know my place in the Universe. If you love the Tarot and want to take your practice to the next level I have several pathways to help you discover your personal reading style. I offer meditation practice, Tarot Masterclass and a Tarot Practitioner course and would love to open up the world of Tarot for you too. With love, Vicki xx Tarot School Psychic Reading Reiki Past Life Regression Meditation  Sometimes all you feel is that the effort you put in is just enough. You want more but you have no energy, so it is just that…enough, no more, no less.
This is not a satisfying feeling when you want it to be special, extraordinary, a reflection of your special skills. Your message - you are enough. Are you certain about your position right now? Is what is on offer too good to be true? You are right to be cautious, you are falling into an old behaviour pattern. Soon you will be right back where you started. Your message - be bold, be ready to make a change. You are sliding into a comfort zone that no longer fits. Using 3 wands to clear the energy Use the fire and 3 energy to bring a little lightheartedness and fun into your life right now. Some light distraction will prevent you from getting too bogged down in minor details. With love, Vicki xx Psychic Readings Reiki Tarot Coaching Spiritual Wellbeing Working as a psychic and healer does not make me spiritual, living my faith makes me spiritual and I think one of the toughest lessons was the opening of my heart. I lived more honestly and the path towards self awareness became much easier. The Closed Heart is not something I was aware of, not until the opening commenced. Someone once said to me the depth of grieving is in direct relation to the depth of the love one felt for the other. The depth of the pain when visiting the trauma is also equal to the magic of the opening. In time and as is the case when you do this work, the clients I was seeing were presenting with similar stories. And again I am reminded of some wisdom a teacher once said. We do not have the same stories but we share the same emotions. While we share the same emotions the suffering is relative to the experience, there is no big or small here. As I worked with my clients I witnessed the energy of spirit healing the trauma and bring peace. However, there were some exceptions. Some clients would be having great results but in time returning with the same story from a different life event and I noticed there was an emerging pattern of behaviour. I started to have some doubts about the methods I used so I meditated, connected to Spirit and asked the questions of my guides. In time I was shown the inner working for each Soul, what it meant for my clients and I had some insight for my own self as well (love it when that happens). Let me preface the next part with a little explanation about my methods. When I am given insight to a particular condition it is shown to me in a way that I can relate to. This in turn allows me to give some peace of mind to my clients as I can describe it in a way that makes it relatable. The closed heart does not know it is closed, not closed in the sense of not working, more there was a protective case surrounding it. You don’t know about this because over time you adjust your behaviour to fit the protection. When you have healed enough to feel safe enough to feel again, something will happen to activate the heart and your feelings. Those feelings can come slowly or they can spill out so quickly that it is difficult to catch your breath. It is the spill that brings people to me for guidance. I see the beauty of the spill, the perfection of the opening and the compassion for the confusion. The heart connects to love for another and the picture I see in their aura is one of an explosion. A hole where the heart chakra sits which is so destructive that it cannot be repaired. This is the beauty I see. The client is so ready for love that they must have the heart opened in such a way that they cannot close it down again. I was shown, by Spirit, that this is by design. It is difficult because in most circumstances a new relationship cannot move forward. Either or both parties are in relationships, one or both parties are still living their trauma and are not able to give their attention fully at this moment or the other party is playing hot and cold with the client and causing confusion. These examples are the most common and there are many more ways which all lead to the same place. The heart is open, the feelings are spilling over and the feelings of ecstasy and sorrow ebb and flow. It is not pleasant and I personally used to think how unfair it was (my victim at play). The perfection is the method applied by your own soul. It is designed so that you must access your deepest wisdom to bring balance back to your life. You are kept in discomfort so you will seek the perfect way back to your higher self and thus continue your soul journey. The compassion comes when I see you as a client you are lost in the beauty of this perfect emotion you are feeling. The first time you feel the explosion it is pure and amazing, you want that all the time but that is not possible. It is designed to bring your attention to your own needs and the generating of the power you need to live your best life and find the love that truly loves you heart and soul. It is that simple. My work consists of helping the client understand this. They may perceive the other party as their forever person because it was this person that woke the dormant heart. Unless each person is clear to pursue the relationship, it is never destined to continue. You were brought together for this specific purpose, that is all. Once you have mastered your emotions, you will find the relationship you need to evolve as the beautiful soul you are. So, this is what I have observed and if the above resonates, you might just be in one of these next situations…
These are some examples of situations you may find yourself in when the closed heart is activating again. The Self feels uncomfortable and constantly searches for ways to satisfy the feelings or shut them down again. Neither will happen, you learn, or should I say relearn, to love. The heart lives in it’s true power and makes choices for your souls highest good. That is the gain here. You can experience the cycle of love and loss many times. It is not always a one off experience. In these times you gain such strong self awareness of what love is for you that your life becomes pure joy, even during the down times. The active or open heart is one of the strongest allies you can have, it is where true compassion is lived. With love Vicki xx Psychic Readings Reiki Past Life Regression Medical Medium Access Bars Tarot For Self Awareness The Soul knows the perfect relationship you need for your growth. There are many common patterns I see with those who are experiencing this disruption and I am going to discuss some of these over the next couple of weeks.
The Sensitive Heart Have you ever experienced that moment where you realise you are in a relationship that is going nowhere? In that moment do you move away from it and cut your losses? No, you double down and hang in there, waiting for it to get better. It never does though, does it? This I call the perfection of the sensitive heart. Your heart recognises another heart that shares your possibilities, your dreams and potential. You meet a kindred spirit. The reflection also shows you common struggles and pain. It is through this connection that you realise, in your heart, that healing of your past is possible. The relationship becomes the anchor for the Soul to expand and grow and it is glorious. We see the beauty of our future and strive with all our heart to attain that. When the relationship has served its purpose it begins to degrade but the sensitive heart clings to the dream, the possibilities of the other heart. They can psychically sense the other heart, know what is possible, stay and wait for them to realise it too, forgive the other hearts bad behaviour and reward that bad behaviour with loving patience. All because the hearts are in constant connection. They communicate in a different language. What the sensitive heart fails to recognise, though, is the human behaviour. We are born with all this beautiful potential and the opportunities to realise them. The Soul brings us together to help each other reach that potential. If each of you use this time together for this growth, you move forward together. If only one heart grows, one must leave the other behind in order to evolve. This is heartbreaking for the sensitive heart. Most times the only way to end the suffering is to make the break. I have experienced so much heartbreak in my own lifetime that the trauma will still rise and catch me off guard. I struggled with the concepts of how could this be good for my growth when it seems so damaging to my psyche. In the past that trauma did define me, it became my story. However, I slowly began to realise how damaging this victim behaviour is to the Soul. Once I became conscious of this behaviour I went through a process of blaming myself then blaming “the other”, angry with myself then angry with “the other” and finally I surrendered to the perfect process it was. I see a lot of clients when there is disruption within their relationships and I must admit, in the past, I was caught in my own emotional responses. I had to be careful that they did not influence the readings and healings. I certainly felt empathy with them and it was through these sessions that I slowly began to comprehend the beauty in the process of connection and separation. It is the perfect opportunity to really know ourselves…when we are courageous enough to live in our sensitive heart. Our vulnerability becomes our greatest strength and being vulnerable is not being weak, it is being honest. You cannot experience suffering when you are living your truth so utilise your relationships to understand and accept your true self. We do our best Soul growth within relationships. Our relationships reflect us. I am talking about all types of relationships, love, friendship, family, pets and even the one off chats with random people we meet within our day…all relationships. Relationships are the only way we can evolve our Soul. Even if it looks like you are moving backwards, attracting people with the same behaviour patterns or same personalities, you are moving forward. It’s incremental, but it is still growth. As I’ve discussed in previous blogs, we do attain the conscious awareness we need to make effective decisions for ourselves, eventually. When it is happening it makes no sense, of course, and when I am working with them I am always looking for common triggers, responses and patterns. It is very difficult for them to be detached in the moment and that is why a Psychic Reading and Past Life Regression are perfect. With Love Vicki xx Psychic Readings Reiki Past Life Regression Medical Medium Access Bars Tarot For Self Awareness |
AuthorInsights I have gathered from my life experiences. Profound messages from my connection with Spirit. Archives
February 2021
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