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Insights
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 I receive a lot of my healing and inspirational messages from my meditation practice. This past year I have noticed that old trauma has been affecting my quality of life again and now as I write, on reflection, I have been made aware of the effects for a couple of years now. This is really difficult to reflect on but I want to share some insights I gained recently.
What has changed? I have become aware of the chain of thought processes, my emotional reactions, my physical reaction and the utter hopelessness of the spiral I continually found myself in. I was in this state until very recently and it is the practice of meditation and the healing space it creates around me that has kept me sane. The effects of my trauma have always been there but knowing this does not in itself heal it. I have been down that road before and I can assure you that you cannot will it away. The extent of emotional, mental and physical pain and discomfort I felt was acute and in direct proportion to the urgency in which it was ready to be released. Ugh...not gain!! I really thought that after all these years of mind, body and spiritual balancing I had developed the exact healing prescription. I did...sort of. My way of healing my spirit was so advanced that it didn’t occur to me that I would not be ok, that I would not recover for years. It has, my friends, been a slow process and one in perfect timing for a perfect outcome. The Process It has been a slow and painful deep dive into my childhood, one I did not know was necessary. I could recall most things and believed they were in the past as the memories were not directly related to any emotional reactions I had ever experienced. When I began my adult spiritual awakening I poured my full heart and soul into my healing process because I felt the power move through me and I knew I had connected to the power of spirit within me. It is only now I understand that I was working back towards the point of origin. In my adult life I experienced physical, emotional and mental abuse from people I believed loved me the most, I contracted a debilitating illness that still affects every aspect of my life to this day and my loved ones were used as weapons against me.I truly believe this was the cause of my soul imbalances and I was determined to live my best life. I accessed healers, readers and sat in meditation circles for years. What I understood along the way was that these things in themselves are not the cure, they are the best way to access my Soul Wisdom. I did the work, I surrendered to the energy of spirit and I gained control of myself, my thoughts and my destiny. Or so I thought... Once I was working for myself as a professional reader and healer the next phase began to creep in. As I mentioned, I had a handle on how to manage the eruptions that occurred from past and present hurts. I welcomed this new phase. I always emerged stronger and more attuned to spirit. Nope, this was different. Before I knew it I was plunged into one of the darkest places I’ve ever been without any guidance. Usually there was a cause and effect situation but this dip was much more severe because the more I sunk into it the worse life got. By the time I realised I was out of my depth it was too late and there was nothing to do but wait it out. This was worse because I had nothing to link it to, nothing to blame, nothing to understand and no healing, meditating, counselling or readings touched the surface. And so I fell into a long term, debilitating depression for nearly 2 years. I thought I was done.... Vicki! Get to the point!! I’ve written about the crisis of my faith in previous blogs so I won’t give the full story here about my way back to myself. What I did have to do though was visit my childhood trauma in all it’s ugliness. I had to sit in the very real sadness (and I’m crying writing this) and actually feel the pain of those times. And so I went. **Actually, as I’m writing this I am receiving insights to this journey I’m writing about so I am going to pass the information on immediately. I had never understood why I had to endure depression when I was always a willing healing and self awareness participant. I just got the answer. The depression I experienced was so different to anything I’ve ever felt before. I wasn’t sad or crying. I felt nothing. I mean absolutely numb. I never cried once and I could not even experience an ounce of joy. Every emotion from that time was faked, it was the only way to survive. I now understand I would not have been able to visit my childhood trauma effectively if I was experiencing any emotions. Being depressed actually allowed me to do the exploratory work I needed to release the attachments to the survival responses I no longer needed to continue in my work...OMG, I am so happy!!** Anyway, I was contemplating writing this blog to showcase how my Soul Coaching worked when I realised another amazing thing. The protective measures in place, the things I thought had been programmed by others who had control of me were all mine. I created the mantras of self deprecation, people pleasing and worthlessness as a means to explain the dreadful treatment of me by others. They did not give me the words. I gave them to myself and every time I was re-traumatised I repeated my rationalisations because nothing else made sense. I repeated them until they became my truth, my shield, my protection. What occurred, dear friends, is that with this realisation I took my power back! Yes! I own the words, I can release their hold on me. I HAVE THE POWER. I always did. I wonder if this is true for all iterations of the deep programming we unconsciously repeat until the power of our soul releases us from our torment and shows us the way. The path can sometimes be ugly but worth it. Never travel it alone, there is always help. My lovely friends, I meandered through the telling of this story and it began when I was recently a passenger in a 4WD doing some off-roading. I was terrified of nothing and nothing I could tell myself would ease the fear. So, I did what I always do, I meditated on it. Not a sit down for hours meditation mind you. I let the feelings wash over me in a quiet moment and let my Soul Wisdom take care of the details. I allowed the fear to come to the surface, l went with it and the intensity eased. It really is that simple and I received relief. I don’t really care about the origins of the trauma, that is just for context. I am more interested in the process of releasing the binds that keep me in a pattern of emotional reaction that affects the quality of my life. And I do it because it works. TL:DR
With love, Vicki xx Psychic readings Tarot readings Tarot Reading School Tarot Practitioner Crystal Reiki Past Life Regression Soul Coaching Meditation
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This is an outdoor walking/movement activity and takes about 20 minutes. It is best if you can leave your devices at home, make your walk tech free. Make sure you are dressed comfortably, including comfortable walking shoes.
You are about to embark on a meditative walk to strengthen your connection to your physical self with the physical world using your 5 senses. Sound, sight, smell, taste and touch. Let’s begin… Before you take your first step take several slow, even deep breaths. Close your eyes and become aware of breath inhaling and exhaling. Take your awareness, eyes still closed, to the top of your head. Feel the breeze on your face. Think about how your clothes feel on your body. Finally, take your attention down to your feet. Feel the firm ground under your feet and the weight of your shoes and socks. One more deep, even breath and open your eyes… To prepare for your sensory walk choose the order of your 5 senses. For example you may choose smell as your first sense. As you walk along and concentrate your attention only on the smells around you, it may be grass, flowers, cooking smells. Name the smells in your mind. Next you may choose sound. Focus you attention only on sounds. Identify the sounds in your mind…and so on. Repeat this process for the remainder of your senses. And begin…Take a few moments for each sense before you move on to the next one. Take your time and enjoy the waking of your senses. At the end of your walk take note of how difference between how you felt before this walk to how you feel afterwards. You could, if you like, keep a record of your experiences. This is an adaptation of an exercise from the Natureluster Program created by Stacey Demarco The Modern Witch. With Love, Vicki xx Meditation Reiki Psychic Readings Tarot Practitioner Tarot Readings Tarot Reading School Past Life Regression Welcome to a demonstration of Reiki Self Healing you can do at home. Reiki is perfect for connecting to your bodies innate healing wisdom. With love,
Vicki Haspels xx Tarot Reading School Psychic Readings Reiki Master Crystal Reiki Esoteric Coaching Meditation  A little background...
Once upon a time I suffered from acute anxiety. It was debilitating, sometimes it prevented me from doing things like driving and generally making life miserable. I didn’t know I could do something about it, I thought that was life and you endure. One day I discovered meditation, then Tarot cards, then like minded people (my tribe), then I was at peace with my trauma and my anxiety became a background hum. I thought I’d conquered anxiety but what I’d done was place myself in a pretty psychic prison (I have acquired that phrase but I cannot remember who first coined it, props to you whoever you are). You see, I placed myself in a controlled environment that did not challenge me and I thrived. This, my friends, is not a bad place, nor did I do a bad thing to myself, I just created a peaceful place where I could not be reached and it was bliss. In this time I taught myself some very valuable lessons, understood my Soul Self and developed the reading, healing and teaching style I still use to this day. I honestly thought I had it nailed!! Hahaha...not even close. As is usually happens for me, life moved forward and I had another intense trauma to face. (My friends, I have had so much trauma this lifetime one health professional looked me in the eye one day and expressed surprise that I was not a balled up in the corner rocking back and forth..I’m not kidding. My first thought was, s**t how bad am I?) Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yes, another life challenge, and it was one of the biggest. This trauma was with me for 10 years, life was torn apart and had to be reimagined. My old friend anxiety popped up and wanted to be part of this next phase. I left the New Age part of my Spiritual Journey and entered the world of the MIND/BODY/SPIRIT holistic approach to healing. So, getting to the point... Existential Anxiety. I met a wonderful Soul/Teacher/Dear Friend at the very beginning of that time and she showed me how anxiety can be a very useful tool. I won’t dress it up, anxiety is not pleasant. Existential anxiety is something that is rampant in this modern life, we all have it. What I’ve come to accept and understand that it is not the enemy it has been made out to be. I’m not talking about the type of anxiety that is directly attributed to acute trauma, I am referring to anxiety that has no obvious origin, the feeling that comes from nowhere and our thoughts take up the reins and gallop to full blown panic. This is EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY and once you look at this type of anxiety in a different context to what you’ve been conditioned to believe you can make it work for you...yes, really! Understanding Existential Anxiety Many explanations detail the root causes are and how to treat it, all valid. I would like to break it down to simple terms. Thought number one: an anxious thought that has been triggered by an emotional reaction to external stimuli. Thought number five: you realise you are feeling anxious and attribute the cause to thought number five. Because you cannot reconcile the thought and the feeling (they are not from the same cause) you become caught in a maelstrom of cause, effect, blame, cause round and round. Note, this thought has not originated from any direct action, it is something you have “thought.” It has come from nothing substantial, it becomes an existential threat. You cannot solve an existential threat, it is wholly in your imagination. Anxiety is uncomfortable and often has a physical reaction. So you are caught up with a physical reaction to an existential threat, your mind is in turmoil and your immediate response is “fix it.” Now you are stuck. It’s Not A Bad Thing..I Promise Existential anxiety is part of your psychic ability. It really is! EA lets you know you are having a vibrational or spiritual shift. It is a handy tool, not a comfortable tool, but something you can utilise. So, when EA is shows itself here are some handy tips.
With love, Vicki xx Psychic readings Past Life Regression Tarot Reading School Reiki Crystals  The image of The Hermit is one of solitude and humility. It often evokes a sadness because the hermit looks lonely with no promise of support in the near future. Depending on how you are feeling in yourself at the moment the image does reflect an inner longing for something that does not exist.
In a positive light, The Hermit represents The Fool’s getting of wisdom. The Fool has travelled a far distance and learned much about himself and the world around him. The Fool feels empathy and compassion, is deeply connected to his Self and is able to understand his place in the world. Because of this he often feels apart from the people around him as many would not understand his wisdom. The Hermit is more than happy to be in his own space at this time. It is necessary to withdraw while you are considering where your place is in the flow of life when you have had a spiritual awakening. Your own company is soothing and your own thoughts are clear and insightful. The Hermit needs this time to decide his next path. The difference here is that The Hermit now is able to choose his own way, he sees the whole picture. Using The Hermit energy in your life assists you with meditation and takes away the fear that you need to fill your life with noise or constant stimulus. Using Hermit wisdom assists you to be comfortable with your own company, you can hear your own thoughts and acknowledge that all you have suffered has made you richer through personal experience. With Love, Vicki xx Tarot Reading School Psychic Readings Reiki Crystals Past Life Regression Spiritual Coaching  It is difficult to realise until it is sometimes too late how out of balance our life can get. Sometimes the only clue is illness or anxiety and by then we are way past heading it off at the pass. It is possible to stay in touch with yourself and catch when you are heading for that fall. It is no surprise if I tell you that anything that connects you to your physical body is the perfect way to keep in touch with the subtle message your Soul is giving you. Honour your body and you will have perfect mind, body, soul balance. Being in touch with your body is not only about diet and exercise. Have you considered meditation. When we meditate mindfully we connect to the ebb and flow of energy in and out of the physical body. At the beginning we might experience the physical aches and pains but when you become more practiced at it you learn to rise above this and access the higher planes and the auric bodies. It is here that you can learn to access vital energetic body changes before they manifest in the physical world. It is not a cure all, that is not for us to promise, however I can, however, guarantee an intimate connection to the subtle shifts in your physical and auric fields. Your body is balanced when you know intuitively what it needs. Your mind is balance when your connection to the shifts gives you control over your life. Your Soul is balanced because you are eternally connected to the greater power of Spirit. Being connected to this greater power gives you the strength to walk your path and be confident in the choices you’ve made. With Love, Vicki xx psychic readings Tarot Reading School Crystal Reiki Past Life Regression Therapy Soul rEvolution Meditation. With Love,
Vicki xx psychic readings crystal reiki past life regression therapy tarot reading school There is much said and written about childhood trauma, inner child work and rebirthing. We experience this trauma in two ways, the Soul Self and, the Physical World and I think it can be difficult to reconcile any childhood trauma because when we have the emotional maturity to process the event, that event is too far away to look at objectively. We’ve already created a belief system and a set of survival tools and it is frightening to let them go. In it’s destructive form the wounded child prevents us from expressing our magical child. In it’s positive sense the experiences can create resilience and compassion within us.
I have found, in my own time as a healer and in my own life, that healing wounded child trauma is such a personal experience and no one modality is a cure all. I also understand that sometimes it takes a lifetime to reconcile. I have worked with many teachers and healers over the years, I have plumbed the depths of my own trauma and this is how I explain the process. Childhood trauma is stored in the base chakra. It comes from family, ancestral and DNA patterns that are repeated and passed on. We do not always take on all the ancestral behaviours however we respond to those that resonate with our personality and our Soul contracts. We cannot destroy the memory or the trauma. They are with us for life because they are embedded in our collective psyche. It is important to recognise when you are traumatising yourself, judging yourself and being generally horrible to yourself, that you are reinforcing this embedded belief. The good news is that while you cannot banish the experience you can detach and reconcile yourself from the emotions that are trapped in the body and the mind. It is simple and complex. When you deeply connect to your soul you really get to know the real you. When you are able to fully accept all the elements of your personality and become your own best friend it makes it easier to recognise when those emotions or patterns bubble up. This type of cycle is called conscious consciousness. In this state you will feel the response, recognise the response, make a conscious decision about your reaction and act accordingly. Sometimes we have a win and sometimes we have a relapse. You will thrive and regain control of your life, your emotions, your creativity and your spark of joy for life. It is achievable and worth the effort you put in. P.S. please remember this process may take many lifetimes. Compassion, forgiveness and gratitude are the outcomes of this process. You can’t force them they are states of being, you become them. With love, Vicki xx psychic readings crystal reiki past life regression therapy spiritual counselling Tarot Reading School  Health and indulgence abounds with this weeks card. By drawing on the power of the queen you have the opportunity to indulge your senses. Enjoy good food and wine, make sure you spoil yourself. Colours are important. Whatever you are wearing will boost your energy so lots of orange, red and yellow if you are feeling a little sluggish, softer blues and greens if you are needing some nurturing, purple and whites if you need connection to your intuition, gold if you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
The queen has a message for you: be mindful of taking care of yourself this week, be a little bit indulgent and selfish. You have energy to spare and while it is nice to help those in need, be discerning. There are those in your aura who must remain within their discomfort for soul growth. They are not your responsibility, even if you have energy to spare. You have love and compassion, however this does not require sacrifice, at this time. So, enjoy life’s pleasures, this energy will soon be at an end but you will have created some beautiful memories. With Love, Vicki xx psychic readings tarot readings reiki past life regression therapy tarot masterclass tarot reading school meditation  I have been reading Tarot cards for more than 25 years and it was only last year that I had a deep spiritual understanding of their role in my life. You see… I had always thought of them as tools, cards, something I used when I did a reading for a client.
I had one of those Aha moments recently when I finally understood the real magic of owning and building a personal relationship with my Tarot cards and it was so profound that it still blows my mind! I'll never forget the first deck of tarot cards I picked up. I still have them!! When I got them I religiously memorised the meanings, I followed the directions and I fell in love. Over the years my relationship with the Tarot has gone through a transformation, much like any personal relationship. I have fallen in and out of like with the cards but they have always remained a constant for me, a stability. Do you know why? It's because they have always spoken the truth and held me to account for the choices I’ve made but not once have they let me down. If anything the Tarot has driven me to be a better person. Learning the Tarot has taught me how to communicate with people and my guides. The Tarot has taught me empathy and compassion. In all this time I have finally understood the relationship I have with the Tarot reflects the relationship I have with my Soul, my Intuition. When I have been alone, lost and wandering, when I could not feel the connection with my guides or inner wisdom, the Tarot has been there, the constant that formed the bridge I needed. To know in my heart that I am never alone. The Tarot will always reflects my true self. That is why sometimes I don’t like the card I choose. When I work with students I encourage them to use the Tarot as an Holistic Tool. Look at the meaning, use the image, colours, symbols, and archetypes to invoke the power within. These days with all the noise of the digital world and the overwhelm of the 24 hour news cycle it is difficult to spend time to do the inner work and I can certainly relate to that. I am here to pass on a message from your inner guidance, your Soul, your Higher Self, “make a commitment to a regular practice that keeps you in constant connection with Spirit.” I discovered mine many years ago and only now can I appreciate it's special place in my heart. I now know my place in the Universe. If you love the Tarot and want to take your practice to the next level I have several pathways to help you discover your personal reading style. I offer meditation practice, Tarot Masterclass and a Tarot Practitioner course and would love to open up the world of Tarot for you too. With love, Vicki xx Tarot School Psychic Reading Reiki Past Life Regression Meditation |
AuthorInsights I have gathered from my life experiences. Profound messages from my connection with Spirit. Archives
August 2021
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